I can see the sun raisin.

First things first. Justin has graduated his cwb course and is officially a certified level one weld inspector! So proud of him. It was not an easy course. His back is still bad but he is not hunched over anymore and can walk straight. So things r looking up! Last monday he went back to work. They don’t really need an inspector at the moment so he is back doing his fitting job. But that is what was making his back worse… He has also handed out some resumes so maybe he will get a job offer. We will wait and see. 

As for me, I have taken on 1 more full time little girl(2 1/2) and 2 before and after school girls(5 and 6)(All sisters) in my home day care,so things r busy for me! But I love it. 
As for emmerlyn, she’s is doing great. Justin took her to kids ability for the last time until she is 6!! She is just doing amazing. No concerns on their end, and none really from ours. If something does concern us we can call them and they will see us. So amazing :) 

She goes back to McMaster at the end of June for some X-rays and to see the hip/ spine doc. 

Raisins. Yes it says raisins in the title. Over the past month a lot has happens. We have lost a great man, my grandpa, I only have one grandparent left and I feel different. Like an end of an era. Things r changing. He is going to be so very missed. Our family has been hit with some sicknesses over the past 3 weeks, the kids both got the flu, a week apart from eachohter and then we all got a horrible cold. We found a lump on Emmys neck, my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach, it turned out to be a swollen reactive gland and we need to keep an eye on it. As for the raisins…. As I was catching some other kids throw up in a bowl emmerlyn decided to stuff raisins up her nose! I look over and see her doing it so I tell her to stop and run over there when I have a min. I pull like 10 to 15 dried raisins and blueberries and cranberries out of her nose!!! Justin was home thankfully and we looked up her nose together. There is another one up there. Justin starts researching how to get it out while I am trying to get her to blow out, which she can do but she also sucks in. I call the doc. They laugh, and say she can come in at 330. I said we will be there unless it comes out. Emmerlyn already was starting to get a cold so her nose was runny and then! She sneezed!!! Yah and 2 raisins came out her nose!!! Yippie!!! We look up there again, there is still a raisin up there!!! I could not believe it. We get her to sniff pepper. She sneezes but the raisin stays in. She went to doc and the doc got it out with tweezers. It made a popping sound when it came out. I asked her later in the day, where do raisins go Emmerlyn? And she pointed to her nose. . So we won’t be having raisins anytime soon. 

Other than that we r really looking forward to this summer!! My new little nephew is due end of July beginning of August! Can’t wait to meet him!!

I can see the sun rising. 

    
 

Happy, Heathy, Emmermaid

Okay, so emmerlyn went back to McMaster on Friday and had an ultra sound done on her kidneys, and visited the spina bifida clinic. She did absolutely wonderful! She was so good. We brought lolly pops and she was happy to do everything they wanted her to. It was a long day and she missed her nap but was still happy :) 

It’s so nice to have all these docs following up with her and making sure she’s doing good. Sometimes I forget  she is so special. She is keeping up with all the other kids her age. The only sucky thing is at McMaster is changing there system a bit so now emmerlyn is followed by one doc instead of who ever was there that day so we have to go back May 6 to get the results from the ultra sound. But in the long run it will be better for her to see the same doc every time. They said she has extra motion in her ankles which is really good for her bc usually spina bifida kids r tighter in the feet. Physio is still good to protect her joints and good shoes r important. We are going to Physio soon I think next week or the week after have to make appointment! But we don’t have to go back to the spina bifida clinic till next year when she’s 3 1/2! 

She’s in the 25 percentile and following her curve nicely. Our Pediatrician said she should go on pediasure, just to make sure she’s getting all the nutrition she needs. 

I think that’s all. 

Here are some pics waiting at the doctors and being a mermaid!

     

      

 

Madness 

I feel I am going to go insane. Why me? Why us? Things could be worse don’t get me wrong but I feel as soon as things get good they take a turn for the worst and things start falling apart. I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs. Get some frustration out. This blog is ending up more about me then emmerlyn and the family.  I don’t want this to be a negative blog. But things happen and it’s easy to right the negative stuff down. This is life. It is impossible to get the life u dreamed of, u have to live with what u get. What’s meant to be. And that can be madening.

Justin lost his job. A job he loves. He hurt his back a couple years ago and the last 5 months it has gotten really bad. He  can hardly sleep, constantly trying to get comfortable, walks with a limp and could not make it all day at work. So his work wanted a doctors note stating what his condition is, and with that note his work laid him off because he is to much of a liability. Which I can totally understand but can not believe. Never thought this would happen. Usually a job should try at least to accommodate his needs but they think his job is making his back worse and want him to be 100% better before he comes back. His doc said that justin will never be pain free again but he should be able to get some relief. We go see a back doctor in a couple months to see if surgery is an option or if there are other ways to help with the pain. 

This suck. But if justin can’t work then he has an opportunity to go back to school. And we r hoping he gets disability and that that can help with the cost of schooling. He is planing to go to school to become a cwb inspector (weld inspector) which I think he will be great at and he can use all his welding excperience and knowledge and be in the same field his is in now but not have to swing the hammer. 

So maybe this is not the worse thing in the world but it is stressful, getting to the point where I feel secure again will take a while. I feel anxiety setting in, I want him to be better. Trying not to lose hope. It’s easy to do in situations like this. 

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. Isaiah43:2

Dont be afraid. Just believe. Mark 5:36

The pain that you have been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming. Romans 8:18

I love my God, I love my family, I’m allowed to be mad, we will survive. 

It’s getting personal

Thinking back on this year I have had some high moment but a lot more down moments. Life is hard. Everyone has there thing and for me there are a couple things I struggle with. I feel I have grown this year a lot. Let go of a lot and tried a lot of new things, learned what I am good at and what I need to work at.

One accomplishment I have made this past year was that I read the whole bible! I have always wanted to and still can’t really believe I did it. I don’t take myself as a reader but I actually want to read the whole thing front to back again. 

Last january i started a home day care and I love it. I get to be at home with my kids and make a bit of dough. It was a bit scary at first but now I just love it and want to continue doing it. 

On the down side, I feel alone a lot. Even when I’m not alone I feel alone. Trapped. But it is the stage of life I am at. I need to be home, with the kids. Step back and enjoy being stuck at home. Relationships are hard work. My family is my number one priority right now. All my attention and hard work goes to my kids. My kids r my friends. Is that wrong? Its a struggle.

I struggle with deciding to have more kids. I have always pictured myself with 3-4 kids. But it’s hard work. It’s money, it’s stress. 2 is good. I wish I would have known E was the last…. Or is she? I don’t know… I try not to think about it right now. I don’t need to make any decision right now.

Life is what u make it. Enjoy every moment. Every up. Every down. Take it as it comes. It’s hard for everyone. What u pictured ur life to be and what it really is. Enjoy the steps to get where you wanna go. Enjoy the ride. And it’s okay to dream. Dreams do come true. 

I have learned a lot this year. To just let it be. 

My goals for this year are to get outside everyday. Rain or shine. To not say no to any opportunity, but still be okay with saying no to things I can’t handle right now. I have my whole life to be me. But only a little time to be with my kids. 
   
   
I don’t usually wright about me but it was a harder year to get thru, it went by fast tho. 

Good day.

I just wanted to write a little post about my day today. 

I spent the day with my mom at ikea and it was lots of fun! I got some stuff that I have wanted for a while and some ideas for my new bathroom! It was great! 

I got a potty for emmerlyn, and she peed in it first try!! I don’t know if it’s going to last but it’s exciting! So we r going to start potty time daily and hopefully she catches on quickly! Imagine… No more diapers! She loves it so much that she wants to sit on it all the time and says she has to poop every 5 mins… So having potty time is a good idea for me. She understands when I say potty time is over.

Also Atticus learned how to tie a knot and was so proud of himself and said “this is the best day ever!! I feel soooo good!” So that make s me happy!

The only downer is Atticus’ classroom has head lice….. He doesn’t have it and neither does E but Lacey does😦 poor girl and I watch her every morning before school so I just hope my kids don’t get them… Lacey has been treated and on the mend now so hopefully they will disappear and never visit our home.

That’s is all! ❤️

Miss me?

I like to think I have a whole herd of followers, but in reality I probably don’t. For those who do follow my blogs Thank u!! And I hope u have missed me lol. Even tho it hasn’t been that long it feels like it… 

Schools in, going good. Things r slow for me right now. Just chilling,  watching my baby girl grow. She was back at mcmaster mid September and she’s doing great! Don’t go back till April… We can retire her braces… Which she didn’t use all that much, but they did help her to stand. They never helped her to walk… but she doesn’t need them anymore, they r way to small now anyways. She has a good “arch” when on her toes, great with her balance on different surfaces, starting to run and jump and climb down stairs facing forward. All great things🙂 no concerns. 

We were at kids ability last week to meet our new physio therapist and she was nice! She had no concerns with her walking or running.. I told her my only concern, I have noticed that her left knee can give out a bit when she has been walking for a while. But other than that she has caught up to all the other 2 year olds. Meeting all the age appropriate milestones!🙂

She is amazing, a little miracle. How can I even start to explain how wonderful she is and how blessed I am. I can’t. No words can express. 

 Here are some pics from Thanksgiving, Halloween and in between :) 

 
Yah, my little sisters pumpkin is cooler then mine…

  

    
Princess fairy, Captain America and a monkey.

    
 
We live on a beautiful street. I’m truly blessed.